What's the best way to watch a movie?

I sure don't know.

Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

I recently watched Nosferatu. I didn’t go to a theater, I watched it at home, but I am planning to see some movies in the theater fairly soon. I love watching movies at home for the comfort and the convenience, but the ritual of going to the movie theater and getting popcorn and enjoying a film with strangers is incredible.

Mini review: the movie is good! It’s atmospheric and weird, but that’s classic Robert Eggers. The acting is pretty good but the cinematography is the key reason to watch. it is also appropriately scary.

But it struck me today, as I sat down to write SOMETHING for my Substack. Is there a “best way” to watch a movie? Does it depend on the movie? Maybe your lifestyle determines how you watch and that’s the best way. I’m not actually sure what this will look like, but I’ll figure out the format before this ends, I swear.

Movie Theater

Surely the best way to watch a movie is in the theater. Films, for the most part, are made to watch on a big screen, in cushy seats, with a crowd of fellow movie goers. It’s been a classic for years, and AMC has those cringe-worthy ads of Nicole Kidman acting her ass off talking about how magical movies are.

But they’re not the perfect format for comedies. If there isn’t a large enough crowd laughing at the movie it sounds small and depressing. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is simply better at home, on a smaller screen, while you sit on your couch or bean bag or indoor wooden log. Little Miss Sunshine, a drama with comedy and heart, feels more designed towards a laptop or bedroom television. Movie theaters feel weird when jokes are being thrown at you like so many mushy bananas.

So movie theater is NOT the best way to watch movies. What else is there…phone screens?

Phone

Absolutely not. Don’t watch on your phone.

Home television

This varies. There are so many different of sizes and quality and brand of television. It also varies in the seating style and the room you’re in. For the sake of simplicity and the sake of the reader (you!) and their (again, you) sanity, we’ll assume it’s a 50 inch television in the living room, with a three seat sofa and chair off to the side.

With all that in mind, it’s a pretty great way to watch movies. You can pause when you want, change the volume and subtitles, hell even take a nap, what do I care? It’s the best way to enjoy a movie and be comfortable.

The tricky part is when you have a bad set up for watching movies. If the television is placed where the sun shines on the screen then you’re listening to a movie you can’t see. The sound isn’t always designed for single speaker set up, so you’re adjusting the volume or need to turn on subtitles. The movie experience is also deterred when the television is broken, which will happen when you rough-house too much in the living room.

Overall, at home is a good option for watching movies, but the living limitations and and the fact most genres aren’t designed for home viewing takes it down a few notches. It’s not the best way, but let’s keep going!

With your imagination

That’s not watching movies. That’s thinking. Next option.

Laptop

This is not ideal, but let’s entertain the option in the interest of “fairness”.

So…the laptop is mostly great if you’re like super bummed out or sick and have to lay in bed all day. You prop the laptop up on a pillow, curl into the blankets, and watch 4-7 romantic comedies and half doze off in a Pizza Roll or cough syrup induced haze.

The laptop is sort of a last resort for watching movies. If the TV is being used and the movie theaters are infested with feral apes, the laptop will have to do. The keyboard is distracting and you’re using a whole computer to watch Paul Rudd do stuff. It feels like a waste of resources. But it’s the most comfy place to watch, in bed.

In Conclusion…?

I dunno man. There isn’t really any “best” way to watch movies. What matters is you watch movies you like either alone or with people. Even if the movie is like, really bad but you enjoy making fun of it, that’s still a good time, regardless of where and how. There’s no wrong way to watch a movie (except for phones; don’t watch movies on your phone).

You’re not going to mention Gremlins?

Nah, but I’ll let you know in Gremlins 2: The New Batch they let Joe Dante do whatever he wanted and it’s a fever dream of a movie. I might watch it today on my phone.